My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
