I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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