every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
