he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
be right there i have to get my cape
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
