You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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