I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
