did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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