sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
NoShamevember. You game?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
