her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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