Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
