adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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