The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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