i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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