My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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