spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm getting married
To pizza
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
