Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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