my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You can't motorboat a personality
I need to stop coming to work sober
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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