Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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