There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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