this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
