My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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