The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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