I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
