You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
