I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
