My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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