What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
