i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
