Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
