I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
