i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
