Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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