hotel room ftw
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
