who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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