No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
