I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have already put on my inside pants.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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