So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
