I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
