I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
