pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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