plz talk dirty to me
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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