Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
