I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
