she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Houston, we have a squirter
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
