You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
