I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
