Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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