you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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