I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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