been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
