well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
