she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
